Tuesday, February 22, 2011

fact over secret

 i have a memory of raccoons on this porch & the first time i was scared of spiders. 
 ahhhhhhhhh. california. 
 i still have this guitar
 i have no idea why my mom is sitting on that dude's lap.
 seriously incredible sweatshirt... and my sister cut her foot here.
check out those bad ass shoes, and pants and shirt and sunglasses she's wearing... oh and please, check out my rad outfit. hello. 

every year i feel a little guilty for not letting people in on my secret, because it's more of a fact than a secret. and every year i feel like i'm being dishonest, and perhaps disrespectful. but i think you and i have known each other long enough that it's time i tell you, besides, i'm committed to share with you - which includes the good and the bad: 

today, february 22, is the anniversary of my mom's death. 
april 19th is my mom's birthday. 
and mother's day is always weird - good and bad and strange. 

these are the days i dedicate to celebrating my mom's life (the only way i know how: trying to make her proud).

1. i wake up before 5:55am*
2. i always do my taxes. *
3. i try to create art
4. i never work.
5. i eat asian food.
6. i call every family member
7. as much time is spent outside as possible
8. i hide from everyone except the people that make me feel safe.

a. my mom couldn't keep her eyes open in photos
b. loved bougainvillea
c. incredible closet artist
d. had incredible sweatshirt collection
e. she could fix anything
f. loved the North West
g. 100% Norwegian
h. loved gardening
i. knew everything about plants. literally.
j. obsessed with sightseeing & historical sights.

i know it sounds crazy and you're probably thinking how sad it is, but it's been part of my life for years. most people don't know how to deal with it - they either freeze up and become ultra awkward or they run because it's too much to handle, but it's normal for me. i don't know life apart from it. 

so just celebrate my mom with me. mourn with me, laugh with me or let me be.
- k.

ps. i got a great tax return, so i'll be heading to seattle this spring!
*applicable to february 22 only. 

1 comment:

  1. Your mom was gorgeous Kami; I see so much of her in you. I think it's beautiful the way you celebrate this day every year. There is no question that your mom is very proud of you.