Tuesday, March 29, 2011

foundation or fictional

most of my childhood is blurred between dreams and reality. i've already told you how vivid my dreams are, however, i don't know if i've explained to you the depth and routes that they take, making it difficult to sever the two.

i have foundational memories, which are, in fact, real memories. i also have memories of dreams that are absolutely dreams. the difficulty came when my dreams would incorporate something that i interacted with everyday into my sleep-world.

the first five years of my life were in a small house, five feet from the next, on lowell street, right outside chicago. it was a predominantly jewish neighborhood, with koreans to our right, japanese & indians across the street. we were not unfamiliar with the diversity that cities bring. that home could easily fill up a couple novels with memories, and i remember almost everything, although everything is a little bigger, and more adventurous, considering that it would be from the perspective of a five year old.

when i was three-ish my siblings told me that my parents buried my cat, Amber, alive. to this day, i still have dreams about Amber pawing his way out of the grave in the back ally. it took me 10 years to realize that they had been lying to me the entire time (which, if you ask them, they'll tell you they would never do such a thing.... but older siblings always pick on the baby).

in the upstairs of the house there was a row of framed artwork.  we each got our own frame (of our current or best work) and there were a few other framed images. one of which i assumed my dad had painted. it traveled with me, in my dreams, appearing in different places throughout the years. always imagining or believing that if i could just catch the reflection, on the glass of that painting, at just the right angle, i'd be able to cross through it and enter into a completely different world. now i find myself wishing that i could do just that.

(had i been able to read when i was 3 i would have seen that it is not my dad's signature)

i had been confused at the actual existence of this painting. mainly because it had been so prevalent in my dreams. i was unsure if it were foundation or fictional. this past christmas my dad brought that painting to me (amongst other things). turns out, it wasn't his painting. he had gone to Art Center with Tom Christopher (painter, new york) who painted it for my dad as a present. it has been cherished for the past two decades, became my favorite piece of art, and now lives in my bedroom where the light hits it just right to make me believe i can waltz right through it to a different world.

- k.

my apologies about the images, it was the first thing i saw this morning, and the reflection was just right. i had to use my phone.... i know better too. 

ps. tom christopher is a genius

Monday, March 28, 2011

inability to know

no matter how far i stray, how many different things i learn and experience, i always come back to the human body. something about it makes me stumble around, lurking, leisurely questioning it's ability to function. wonder & awe, really, is what it comes down to. i don't get it. i don't understand it. it makes my heart stop, my throat choke up, and even some version of butterflies in my stomach. it's the inability to know and understand that keeps me wondering.

organ - function - blood flow - muscles - cells - cancer 
it always comes back to cancer & disease - anything foreign within the body - good verses bad.

i get that far, then i get stuck on how to depict a group of cells, and not making it look like a giraffe, a pile of speckled stones, or some smashed blueberries (however, smashed fruit might be a great venture to go on this summer).  but this time, i think i may be on to something:

my lines and patterns were right in front of me the whole time... and i think that they might work. what do you think? it's obviously a rough sketch - the heart is just a shape - but do you think it could become something?
enjoy your monday, 
- k.

Friday, March 25, 2011

found: directions

found in fido.... however, the directions lead me to nothing. wah wah. 
- k

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

just a little love for you : mexico city. 
images ©kbaergen
enjoy your tuesday, friends. 
i'm headed to the ymca, 
ps. listening to the mexico pandora station, you should too.

Monday, March 21, 2011

monday morning snooze

first of all, this is all in a rush. blah. i need to be ready to go to work in a half hour, and i'm still sitting here sipping on my tea and taking in the beauty that's leaking into my home.

1. eating healthy makes the whole world a better place. while hot dog's sound so good lately (yes, i'll have one soon enough), eating all the greasy food in the world isn't going to help my body run better or work smoother. so we're on an intense health regiment here, trying to make our bodies be the best and healthiest they can be. yum yum.
2. the plan is to go to mexico in may. ay ay ay. i'll cry if i actually get there. i'm so exciting. starting to think about the possibilities of actually moving there one day... oh it'd be a dream come true (although i know it would be incredibly rough...) Out of all the places i've visited in the last 5 years, Mexico City was the one that shouted "k! we we need you here!" "come live here, you'd fit right in" "there's so much art & beauty around it'd help feed your soul" (yes the city talked to me. it was the breeze)
3. i found this old painting that i did for ellie years ago, it made me happy. i thought i'd share it too.

have a lovely monday, 
all images ©kbaergen
- k 

Friday, March 18, 2011

found: list

why is the table TN? and what is a coffee pet?
why is it necessary to call Doug at the curb? why not walking down the street, or in the car?

people are strange. 
- k.

Friday, March 11, 2011

found: qaddafi

in light of everything that's going on in the world, and all of the turmoil that's happening, i thought i'd share something that is semi-related. i know, i know. it's a little rude to draw on serious things... and then to share them with you all. i am aware that the situation is quite serious and very sad... so forgive me for drawing on pictures in the news paper. 
this is partially found (by way of Ross Wariner, who was the initial drawer), and i contributed some. so, i bent the rules a little, forgive me for that too?
- k.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

so remember the this guy, the photo that kick-started my Found project?

well, the actual person, in the photograph, came into work yesterday. such a weird experience.  i had a few double-takes and then realized that i recognized him because of some creepy photo that i found and held onto.  any way, i was giggling in side and slightly creeped out, and perhaps a little mortified and ashamed. he had no idea. he was a sweet customer.

on a separate note, i started to change the blog a little bit. there are still some tweaks that need to happen, but i'm running out of time this morning. what do you think?

- k.

Monday, March 7, 2011

the common rat

the past few months i've been caught in seclusion. caught really isn't the word... more like resting in seclusion. the winter has been rough, but the spring is finally starting to push it's way through. everyone is a little happier, a little more at ease, and a little more motivated. this past weekend i got the chance to sit and re-map my life. essentially lots of words and images on a piece of paper that includes everything i want to be, everything i am, and everything i must be. it's a ritual i have that every time i feel useless & unmotivated i re-write what i want in my life - and then i begin my journey back to my path.

it's so easy to slip off the path and wander here or there for a little while - but that wandering usually leaves you feeling lost and a sense of urgency to go back to the path that's specifically yours.

i received a lovely note in the mail from jacquie today (which she handcrafted of course). which falls under "sending more mail" as well as trying to prioritize the important people in your life. besides, without notes and gifts and tidbits of encouragement it's difficult to stay on your path, don't you think?
i also decided that i need to read more - "waste less time/be more productive"- so i am re-reading one of my favorites (which initialized my fascination with rats): RATS by Robert Sullivan. 
it also got me thinking about putting a new image up for my blog - something along these lines:
thoughts on this, as a "tagline" or header for the blog?

because really, we're all just creatures... and they are an uncanny parallel to our own species.

"Rats have conquered every continent that humans have conquered, mostly with the humans' aid, and the not-so-epic-seeming story of rats is close to one version of the epic story of man: when they arrive as immigrants to a new found land, rats proceed to push out the creatures that precede them, to multiply to such an extent as to stretch resources to the limit, to consume their way towards famine - a point at which they decline, until, once again, they are forced to fight, wander or die. Rats live in man's parallel universe, surviving on the effluvia of human society: they eat our garbage" - RATS, Robert Sullivan

- k

Friday, March 4, 2011

found friday: maybe?

this isn't really found, but i just HAD to give you something.... otherwise i was going to be a bad person, and i was certainly beginning to feel like i let you down. 

so relish in this today, please. 

mum, me, mari
easter. glen ellyn, illinois. maybe 1993-1995? i have no clue how old i am here.
(i'm making a dress just like this this summer)

mum, me, mari
the wailing wall. jerusalem, israel. 1999. 
(i don't ever want a skirt like that again. if only i had been more fashionable. however, my mum's hat is pretty rad)

i hope you enjoy
- k.

website workings.

while found friday's are fun and all, we're going to have a little hiatus.* and have a little chit chat about what i've been working on the past few days.

a new website.

while i love the one i have, it's virtually impossible to get it changed (the host is a very busy friend), so i figured the best thing i can do is create a new one that is more accurate (and up to date) with what's going on.

so i need your input. i need your thoughts.  tell me all the things that you want in a website: things you wished were easier to find, elements you enjoy, what lures you to a website (makes you linger & explore), etc.

this is what i came up with after hours of computer screens & editing:**
opening page.
 the navigation station.

and the about section.

obviously, i have a billion things to fill it with. and i semi-hate the font. i'm doing it through Showit which is actually really simple, however, i can't figure out how to upload a different font... do you know how? actually i found where to upload it, but it won't allow me to upload any of the fonts that i have.... ???

what do you think? 

so much love to you today. 
- k.

*they'll be back next week... i have all the items, just have to scan them in & create posts.
**i don't think i was created to build/edit websites.... but we all must learn, right?

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

march first

spring outfit right there, yeah? yeah?

march first is one of my favorite days. it's more like the beginning of the new year, and less like the third month.  take into consideration how january & february are still winter.... and then how much lovelier the world would be if spring started the new year.  it makes more sense for it to go spring, summer, fall winter. not some-winter, spring, summer, fall, and some-more-winter. right?

all this to say, january and february treated me poorly. including a current car problem. wah wah. moving on.

the past few days we've had heavy storms & a few tornado warnings (which was kind of nice) but today i got to enjoy the sun and a few freckles decided to bless me with their presence. as for tonight, i'm hoping for a delicious dinner, time outside & a little happy birthday time for Colby Landis. that's a pretty good start to the new year.

so. hang in there. there are many more great days coming. hang onto hope, even if, wherever you are, it feels like there is none... find something that is hopeful. or find somebody who has it, and ask them to have some extra hope for you. and whatever hope i have inside of me, i'll try to have for you.

- k.