Friday, July 29, 2011

found : message in a bottle

i know. i know. i've been giving you some pretty lame founds in the last month or so. i'm sorry for that. and this doesn't count on my part...
but my brother found a message in a bottle the other day, and i just needed to share it with you.

- k.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

recovery iii

recovery iii

everything seems to happen at once. everyone seems to get hurt. vacations and moves happen at the same time. the people around you change. your job shifts. your entire way of life seems to be altered one way or another. and everything seems off. anxiety attack.

and within an instant you find yourself busier than ever. at least, that's how i feel now. yesterday killed my brain with over ten hours in front of my computer trying to figure out websites, designs, fundraisers, blah blah blah. that's not the point.

everything is wrong and different, and then you're swelling with things that need to be done... and the pieces all of the sudden fit together in a more hectic and different way, but they still fit... and things start to feel right again. the strangeness is new, bright, and hopeful. finally the chaos feels right.
part of the design i'm working on which i'll share with you tomorrow - once the website is sufficient.

- k.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

the straw that broke the camel's back

two things you probably don't know: if i like someone, they make me more nervous than speaking in front of 1,000 people. shaky hands. racing heart. getting a sentence out is a minor miracle, as well as not breaking anything around me. it's somewhat disabling. on the opposite spectrum - put me in a crisis and i turn into a robot.

i'm the type of person you tell bad news to and my nervous reaction is to smile and laugh. i experience trauma, i get stone cold. no emotion. borderline dead. tell me my car is going to take longer or more money to fix, and you've got me as a weeping mess. the straw that broke the camel's back.
patterns : recovery II
it's a natural survival mechanism : do what needs to be done to make it : fight back. process. react. let it settle. move on.
process how you need to process. 

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

coyote howls

a while back Dycee Wildman asked me to sketch something up for a movie night series she was putting on in east nashville. all my ideas failed. i got frustrated. decided to draw a coyote and not think about it for a little longer. turns out my doodling ended up being better than what i kept pushing and forcing. figures.
 my original drawing. 
the poster they came up with. 
next showing is JULY 24th - on the right side of Bongo East (on 11th st). 
- k. 

Sunday, July 10, 2011

about the fourth of july

patterns : hospital edition, 1.2
everything in the last two months has been knocked off kilter, just a little bit. 

on the fourth of july my best friend got into a severe bicycle accident. multiple days in the hospital, a surgery, a few surgeries to come, and a long recovery, she'll end up being just fine. however, the process is going to be hard - much more so for her, but also for the people who witnessed it. experiencing trauma first hand is much more tolling than one would expect. the images stick forever, constantly wondering what could have been different, what you could have done differently. there's something in your deep conscious that, when you're not right by that person, wonders if they're okay, if they're alive, if they're stable, managing.

trauma happens to every person, at some point, young or old. sometimes we don't recognize it as trauma. other times, it clearly is. the battle is moving from that point. pushing out of it, realizing that life goes on, that there is more for you to give to this world and the people around you. so many people never move from it - continuously stuck in a state of panic & anxiety.

so how do we move on? how do we not live in a constant state of fear & concern?


people are what matter. no matter what you believe - supernatural, finite, mystical, whatever, we should all be able to agree that people are important. more important than ourselves, in fact. i've been blown away by the people who have offered to help, however they can.

ellie is one of the most caring souls i've ever encountered. genuine, loyal, vibrant, and ever-radiating love. she's taught me so much in our friendship - challenging me, encouraging me, and loving me (even when i'm impossible to love). those friends are hard to come by. and it's by chance that we became friends.

since the accident, every person (that knows or, even, has a hunch) has not only inquired about her well-being, but has offered their services. on top of that many people have been asking how they can contribute to the bills that are about to start piling up.

all the generosity & love is all a little hard to take in. 

i'm excited to see what the future has for us. how we grow, create, are changed. i know that there is good to come of this. while it's hard to see right now, there's something inside that is telling me that we will be extraordinarily changed by this particular fourth of july. and for that, i am excited.

take your challenges, your traumas, the difficult times, and push yourself to find the ways you can grow.   people surround you. they are built to support, encourage, love, and challenge you. take hold of that.
- k.