monster hair

first of all, i've been listening to Lord Knows Best by Dirty Beaches on repeat for the past few days. sooooo good.

secondly, with my broken car, i've just been bumming around town... therefore, my found series is debatable tomorow, and i apologize for the lack there of the last week-ish.

and finally, i wanted to share with you something i did a month or so ago.
a friend of a friend, Ashley Love, needed some updating on her hair styling portfolio (is that even what it's called???), and so i, because of the red hair, was asked to model.
a. Ashley is an incredible hairstylist. i mean, wowza... she did a great job. currently freelance & working for Baxter Salon
b. Quinn Ballard is an incredible photographer.

 dannnnng. did you even know a white girl's hair could get that big???

i mean whoa.... do you see how my eyes are struggling to keep those lashes up?!

i will say, i am certainly not used to having lashes on... so thanks to them for putting up with my teary, heavy eyes.

- k.

digital / film

in a land far far away i studied photography. moved to nashville to teach kids, lived with three other photographers, and got burnt out. somewhere in there everyone else was trying to be a photographer as well, and in my true anti-hip anti-competitive nature, decided that i didn't want to compete to be cool. my conscious continuously told me that having a camera around my neck automatically made me someone who wanted to be just like everyone else. the fear being that whatever greatness i could possess would get lost.

when i first got my camera i vowed that if it became something more than a tool (for art or documentary) i would stop taking photos.

so i put my camera down.

it collected all sorts of dust for a solid year.

in pursuit of great treasures a friend and i went to a yard sale and found a pentax for five dollars (and a half-broken lightbox). of course not having more than a couple bucks on me (everything at yard sales should cost a quarter-one dollar) he bought the camera for me. one of the greatest gifts i've ever received.

my pentax is so deeply treasured, and has become my favorite form of documentation. my digital camera, however, still sits on the shelf (mostly), so when nathanael mehrens asked me to take photos for him, i had to wipe a few years worth of dust off of it.

so here's a little preview from the digital :

i'm excited to share the great treasures that come back from the pentax film, but i'd say this is pretty decent.

remember the things you once loved and put down. they might surprise you if you tried them again.

- k

loom & beckon

at some point in my life i'd love to spend a considerable amount of time at the sea. studying every creature. taking in every smell. observing how the night's sky reacts with it in comparison to the day's sky. eating breakfast, and every other meal along side it. and falling asleep whenever sleep decides to loom, and dreams begin to beckon.

it's so vast and unexplainable, my heart aches and swells. usually left in awe, speechless, muttering and stumbling over thoughts and words so big they can't be produced.

it's a beautiful thing. so this is my first study of it's creatures (that i spent more than fifteen minutes on). i hope you like it.

- k.

oi vey. big decisions.

a little birthday card for mrs. kelly magnino.

things get hard & i get antsy and my initial reaction is to jump ship. which sounds pretty dreamy, if only i could survive in salt water. or any water. no matter how i try to bend it, our bodies aren't built to live in water.   live on a boat in water, yesss.  fortunately, i haven't ever had the means to actually jump, forcing me to stay for the ride until we've docked.
but sometimes i get a little confused between my dreams, what i'm supposed to be doing, and if i'm trying to run from something. on top of that i completely forget how young i am.  i don't need to be rushing to get things done or feeling like there's not enough time, because i'm not in the same place as the people around me.

the woes of growing up too fast : i'm never quite sure if i'm in in the proper place.
i'm guessing it all stems back to early-life trauma and/or the lack of a (or both) parental role model(s). then again, i haven't really discussed that with other kidz who've missed out on parents. 


this week i have to decide the next 1-2 year path of my life.
a. continue life as is - refining myself & pushing my art into the world around me.
b. the above + school (studio art degree & some extra writing/journalism courses... i definitely need them)
c. move across the world & delve into an artist's community somewhere in the mediterranean/middle east or mexico/south america.
d. do the above + school.
my dreamy brain keeps tripping over the traveling part. ooooo ahhhh. how lovely it would be. nope. stop. i've got at least 7 more years to make that happen. how lovely it will be, when that does happen. whenever it'll be.

this half critic, half romantic / half child, half 70 year old self i've got is so hard to figure out.

you're thoughts, prayers, finger crossing, positive energies & whatever else would be greatly appreciated these next few weeks, because whatever decision i land on, there'll be a whole lot of peace to be made with all the other options. 

thank you for being a part of my world. 

- k. 

found : notes & drawings

the back reads: 

my dearest k.b.*

you have beautiful art. 

you have a great laugh.

may you dance of pink fluffy clouds

the rest of your life. 

"may you dance on pink fluffy clouds the rest of you life"? that's a lot of dancing. and if pink fluffy clouds are anything like cotton candy, you're gonna get some sticky feet. why not rainbows? or in the stars? or the glitter falling from the sky at bonnaroo? i guess that's why this isn't addressed to me. 

- k.

*k.b. as in KB. as in not me. but we do share a nick name. 

eureka! a totem.

somewhere along the line i began to believe this skewed ideology that to be a great artist, you must be a great painter as well. and all this time i've been kicking myself for not loving painting as much as i'd like to, or as much as i believed i should. does that make sense?

realizing that being a great painter is not the highest head on the totem has been an epiphany with a whole lot of eureka!s at the end.  the greatest an artist can be is different from every other artist... and that is something to have hope in. 


so here's to creating what i love, and working my hardest, because this will be an entirely different battle than the one i've been fighting... and probably a much sweeter one. 

- k.

oh, yes, almost forgot. bonnaroo was magical. in pretty much every way. my heart is full. and i've got a few rolls of film to develop & i'll be ready to share that experience with you. 

found : drawing

i'm getting kind of sick of seeing this napkin. over and over again. i wish people would leave more interesting bits of things behind.... however, this dinosaur is pretty great. 

- k.

skulls & crossbones

the past couple weeks have definitely had their ups and downs, with the downs overwhelming the ups, leaving me thinking of all the possibilities to run away (social anxiety, i told you, it keeps creeping on me).

thankfully there are a couple of people who catch me in those places and set me straight, as much as i scream that i want to run. which is hard, and sometimes annoying, usually reducing me to tears, but i end up thinking through life and where i want to be.  a dear friend reminded me that if i can't be disciplined (and everything great that i want to be) here, a change of scenery can't change that. it's something inside that has to be worked out. as much as i want to travel the world and explore it's corners (even the cold ones), i want to do it with someone, and not be running from anything. oh the woes of someone who's got walls (don't we all? please say yes).

i'm taking up the challenge to be a more productive person and spending as much time in my studio working, refining, researching, and stop pretending like i work all the time, because let's be honest, i don't. i do a whole lot of hanging out and spending time alone. and sleep, gosh, i love sleeping. expect some finished products soon, but for now, here's a tattoo that i sketched up for a friend - a memorial for a friend of her's who passed away this past year. 

i also started a new painting this week, and will show you the progress of that next week. 

and The Tallest Man On Earth has kept me great company this week.

happy week & weekend to you. 

 - k.

updatez

well the stars aligned and the heavens consented so that i can head out to bonnaroo this weekend. not knowing entirely what to expect, today i started to get nervous about how my recent development of social anxiety will react. no idea. no computer or work for four days - great.  me, in a field, filled with a billion people and no escape plan... eeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhk? fortunately i'm going with people i trust.  but still, oh boy.

and if i'm being honest, i'm only going this year because the situation is perfecto. i mean, if i didn't know people who were playing, have these girls to go with, or the RV that is trucking our asses there, i wouldn't have thought twice about going.

hats off, curtsey accordingly, because we are going to bonnaroo. and cross your fingers for me. i certainly don't want to have any sort of anxiety attack. so i'm taking my best attitude and looking forward to all the glorious things that can & will happen. oh yeah, and i'm taking my pentax... with an onslaught of film.

let's hope for some great ones like this.... which reminds me, i've gotta find sparklers somewhere.

- k.

found : monsters, duh.

if you haven't figured this out yet, i haven't done a good job of opening up my life:  i have a deep, inexplicable love for monsters. they're slightly scary, weird, creepy. they're outcasts & loners. they often look weird, with giant mouths or extra eyes (which just draws me in closer). and let's be honest, they don't really want to hurt you, but maybe build a tent/fort in the forest and go canoeing... and they like berries, and i'm pretty sure they love vegetables. which just leaves me, a sucker, for them. i can't help it, i can't resist a good monster. so while this slightly breaks the rules, it is found, it's kind of advertisement, but, let it slide?

this illustration makes my heart happier than most things. geez.

also, please take note that there is a king octopus(?) in the background...

- k

foster the people, torches. 

fox skulls

nathanael mehrens is going back on tour for summer/fall. on and off, but the majority of these seasons he'll be all over the US, playing shows. so. don't miss out - dates will be up as soon as possible.

i got the privilege to sketch/design the posters for him, so i thought i'd share with you a little of what i've been working on. i tried so hard to push the limits, make something so obscure, incredibly brilliant, blah blah blah. but i couldn't pull away from the fox. and i can't really ever get away from bones. so, here you go:

oh yeah, and happy june.

- k.